


It was an act of Vengeance, not Justice

by The_Irish_Kiwi



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Anders always has a home, F/M, Gen, Mahariel loves her Da'len
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-05-13 11:59:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14748452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Irish_Kiwi/pseuds/The_Irish_Kiwi
Summary: Anders has committed an act of Vengence. Hawke lets him go, for the friendship between them. He doesn't know where his feet take him, where the horses, but he will always have a place willing to take him in.Mahariel never leaves a clan mate.





	It was an act of Vengeance, not Justice

She stares at him as he sits, almost as if he waits for death. As if he is waiting to join those he had just blown up in the Chantry. The flames still flow, the smoke still making Alani’s eyes burn, bodies of the Templars she had sided against lay around, and yet, her eyes remain on Anders. The agony of Sebastian still in her ears, as she attempts to speak to Anders, yet cannot make the voice leave her. 

“He’s your companion, I’ll leave his fate to you.” It hadn’t been exact words from the first Enchanter, but it was what she had heard. Fenris had placed the blade in her hand, should she want it, and her other companions shifted away, letting her have her moment. Anders was her friend, as much as he’d become their’s, and she felt… Why had he not told her? Did he not trust her? He’d told her twice that he loved her, and yet…  
She kneels down in front of him, blade placed to the side, even Isabela with no comment for once, soothing Merrill. Alani’s pale hand reaches and guides Anders’ face to look at her, golden eyes meeting blue. 

“Why?” She could almost hear Fenris’ disgruntled noise, Sebastian’s angry one, and yet no one else spoke yet. Her voice was broken enough to give a warning off, that if they interrupted she might break. It wasn’t betrayal, Anders had never betrayed her, or her trust. ‘For mages rights’, they’d agreed, that she trusted him to do whatever he needed to help mages. Mages like himself, like her sister, like Merrill- all mages she had sworn to protect, almost hypocritically, above all others, even as she’d allied herself to their cause.  
“Why? Do you really have to ask that? For the mages, for their ri-“Anders, was almost quick in his explanation, as if very quickly, Alani had changed her mind about mages, and yet that was not the answer she searched for. 

“Why didn’t you tell me, Anders? You told me to trust you, and I did, I trusted you, I still do, and you didn’t trust me to tell me what you had planned.” She’s close to tears, they’ve already welled in her eyes, and it seems like Anders just wants death, anything to look away from her eyes, but she wouldn’t let him, holding him in place.   
‘Eyes, my girl. The eyes are the window of the soul. Truth, love, anger, you will find it all in the eyes.’ 

“If I had told you, that I was going to blow up the Chantry, would you have supported that?” His tone changes, almost questioning, but almost an accusation. His eyes hardened, as his face did as if he knew. Of course, he did. 

She almost looked ashamed, eyes turning away for the moment, as her hand fell from his face. “No,” she admits. “But I would have understood.” 

“You would have understood?!” Sebastian’s anger tore Anders and Alani’s eyes from each other, as Alani stood to face him. 

“Yes.” 

“Do you know how many people were just murdered?! How many people will suffer for this?!” Sebastian exclaimed, moving forward, only to be grabbed hold of by Fenris, the red around his wrist an obvious give away as to why Sebastian shrugged him off so angrily. 

“What’s done is done.” He stated, brushing passed Sebastian, who was promptly shut up by Isabela, turning her soft whispers to Merrill onto Sebastian, with harsh angry whispers.   
“Hawke,” Fenris began, “We don’t have time, and you need to decide what to do with him.” For all his claims of hating the mage, what the mage had done… he would have no part in this. He took no pleasure from it, Alani knew. 

She turned her gaze back to Anders, picking up the blade from the ground. She knelt before him again, and he closed his eyes as if waiting for the blow, when Alani placed the blade in his hand. 

“Go. Go, and never come back- because I promise you, they will never stop hunting you. The Templars, Sebastian with Starkhaven, they will never stop. I will only give you a headstart, for the friendship between us, because I love you, my friend. You will find some punishment for this someday, but it is not my place to give. Go.” She stood, and turned back to her companions, to the soft look upon Merrill’s beautiful face, the acceptance upon Aveline, Fenris, and Isabela’s faces, the awe upon Varric’s, and the pure rage upon Sebastian’s. 

She heard Anders try to speak, but she held her hand up. 

“Go, before I change my mind.” And she saw Fenris’ eyes trail after the mage as he disappeared before Sebastian burst from his anger. 

“You just let a murderer go!” He exclaimed, turning his anger at Anders, his grief, into rage against Hawke. 

“Just as you would let any Templar serving the chantry get away with raping, and killing mages, whilst making others Tranquil!” It was the first time she had ever yelled at him, and perhaps it was the yelling, and not her words that had Fenris shying away for the moment, Merrill’s wide eyes as she took in the words amongst Alani’s anger. Aveline turned, feeling shame at the blind eye. 

“This is different-“ 

“Fuck up.” The words ground out of her, and if not for the situation, the proud and amazing look on Isabela’s face would have been funny. Sebastian turned bright red, and stammered for a response. 

“No, you will listen to me, for once.” No, just like she’d told him when he’d suggested a chaste marriage between them, in the eyes of the Maker, after misinterpreting her flirting as more. No, just like she’d told Anders the night she’d almost let him in her bed. No, just like she’d screamed when her mother died. No, just like she’d sobbed into her pillow for months after Carver’s death. No, she had thought when she thought Isabela had left for good before she returned to the Arishok. 

“This is bigger than any of us. Killing Anders won’t stop what I am afraid will happen. Mages everywhere, slaughtered, for his actions, will happen regardless of whether or not he dies. I told him I trusted him, and I will not stand against his life. I will never stand opposed to him, as I would never stand opposed any of you, regardless of what you did.” They were her friends, her family. 

“I am with you, Lethallan.” Merrill’s soft voice broke the silence, as the small elvhen girl gripped her hand. “To the end, regardless of this all.” 

“As am I.” Fenris agreed, folding his arms over his chest. 

“I cannot lie, I like big ships… and I like you, and your arse. I’m not going anywhere.” Isabela added, turning her eyes to Aveline. 

“I’ve stuck with your dumbass this entire time, to think I’m going anywhere now? You’d be mad.” 

“I’ve still got a story to finish,” Varric added, to which Alani almost laughed. 

“I love you too, Varric.” Said dwarf gave her a wink before she turned to Sebastian. 

“For the sake of our friendship, and all the trust that has been to us, fuck off, before I do something I regret, or join me in saving these mages’ lives” Alani gestured for him to leave, and he scoffed. 

“For the Maker’s… I hope you have made the right choice, Hawke.” He said, and the two shared a mutual nod of understanding, before Alani Hawke, black hair flowing behind her, determined look upon her face, lead her group of misfits, her friends, her family, up the steps to save her sister, to save the mages of Kirkwall. 

 

He’d stayed, of course, he had. Protected the mages, doing his best, and then, the moment Hawke caught his eyes from across the courtyard, he’d been gone. He’d silently promised her, the woman he loved, that he’d stay away, he’d go. So he had. 

He travelled for months after, not sure where he was going, staying places the least amount of time possible. He had nothing, no one. No, you never have no one.   
He hadn’t known where his feet took him, where mounts took him until he saw her face. She was gaunt, and her face older, but there was no doubt. A smiling elven face, holding up a kitten to her face, as she held the creature out for him, flashed in his mind. She’d said he’d always have a home in the Warden’s, that from the first, she’d never let anything happen to him. Her Vallaslin remained in place, the marks of the Halla goddess, she’d told him when he asked her once, the gold of them. He watched blue eyes narrow, and take him in, before that same smile he remembered lit up her face. “Anders!” Ariya Mahariel greeted, leaving the merchants goods, to embrace him. The blue of the Warden’s armour highlighted her eyes, and he almost burst into tears right there, the stinging of his eyes as he held her close. She was his friend, she always had been, but would she be, knowing what he had done? 

She released him, worried face, with her smile lines relaxing, grabbing hold of his face. “Lethallin…” The tone and Anders felt like the mere child he had been when she’d recruited him into the Wardens again. 

“Commander…” He replied, and she gave a tut of her tongue. 

“I know what you did.” She said, taking his hands and leading him from Amaranthine’s gates. “They whisper of it, even here. A crazed mage destroying a chantry in Kirkwall. I knew it was you, and I know why you did it.” He felt as if she were his mother, and about to scold her, but she never let go of his hand, led him to her camp in the woods, and sat him down, sitting beside him. Last he’d heard, she was searching for a cure, why she was here of all places, he did not know, and he could not ask. He burst into tears, and Mahariel was quick to take him into her arms, kissing the top of his head. 

“It’s all gone wrong, they’re killing all the mages.” He managed to get out, and Mahariel never wavered, pressing kisses to the crown of his head. 

“I know, Da’len. But it is alright. You are safe with me, I understand. Truth be told, I almost might have done the same, had I been in your situation.” The pale blonde pushed him back from her, rubbing at his temples. “You were kind enough to let him in and angry enough at the world that he saw a way to fix it, and you became one. Vengeance is not Justice, I have learnt. Yet, what’s done is done, you can only help now. Come with me, and you shall do Justice to the world, Justice for what has happened.”  
And so he did. 

For he always had a place, a home with his Warden-Commander. She never made him don the Warden Armour again, and she protected him. The man only just younger than her, that she called her Da’len, her Lethallin, which she wrote to her love about protecting. 

Anders may have done what he felt was right, but even if Mahariel disapproved, she still cared for him. He could see it in the eyes, darker than Alani Hawke’s and yet similar care. It hurt that much more, to know that the people he cared for most disapproved of his actions, and yet did not take action in making him pay for it themselves.   
Mahariel gripped his hand as his mind wandered off, the Deep Roads calling them again. 

“I’m sure this time. Then we’ll be free from this taint, and then... We help those like you.” She would say each time, even after Nathaniel joined them, Sigrun, Velanna, they all joined her again… and she took care of them and loved them as if they were her children. She would never let anything happen to them after they’d been pushed to acts.   
Mahariel watched Anders, and even she knew. His act had been one of Vengeance, not Justice, the Spirit they both had known has changed, and yet she would teach him again. He was one of her Da’len, she would see him rise from this. In time, they even joined her in planting little plants for Mhairi wherever they won a battle against Darkspawn. Her new clan, not to replace, but to make. 

Anders knew it, and despite his adamants for years, that he was right… he was always grateful for Mahariel, and her refusal to give up on him.


End file.
